The Cinematic Mick Podcast
The Cinematic Mick Podcast
Dogma
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"The Catholic Church does not make mistakes!!"- Cardinal Glick
Breakfast Club, all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. Fucking weird signs. Where this baby wants to take her gear off and get down, but oh no, she don't because it's a PG movie. And then Pretty in Pink, which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch anymore. Cause every time we get to the part where the redhead hooks over their dream guy, he starts sobbing like a little bitch with a skin knee and shit. And there's nothing worse than watching a fucking fat man weep.
SPEAKER_05I am your host, Mick, and with me as always is my incredibly talented co-host, the Ayatollah rock and roller herself, Megan Abel. Together we are here for your morning commute, your afternoon jog, or if it's around three o'clock in the morning and you're unemployable due to an uncontrollable meth addiction, we don't judge, but we're still here for you during that little time in your life, too. Speaking of incredibly talented, my lovely wife Megan is back for this episode. And I have here in my notes to let the Megans have the mic. So you two figure it out amongst yourselves who goes first.
SPEAKER_12Did he say let the Megans have the mic? No, I heard Megan's. Oh, and Megadeth's Megan. Sorry.
SPEAKER_11Hey Mick and Megheads.
SPEAKER_05Yes, yes. There are there are Megheads out there now. There's Megheads and there's Megheads. I'm sorry, Megheads, I had to give up some of you. You belong to Megan now.
SPEAKER_12I'm sorry. Oh, which one? I don't know who to do which side to pick.
SPEAKER_11There's no there's no sides to pick. Also, like always go with your husband.
SPEAKER_12Oh, yeah, that's true. While you're married. While you're married. While I'm married. Yeah, so don't piss me off.
SPEAKER_05There's no wrong, there's no wrong side here. I mean, you're yeah, you're good to go either way.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, you can you can spread the love.
SPEAKER_12I can just a cinematic mick freak.
SPEAKER_05Really? You are? Yeah. Have you finished crash episode?
SPEAKER_12Freak on a leash from the cinematic mick.
SPEAKER_05Are you in the have you finished a crash episode yet? You haven't? Oh, okay. I'm sorry, guys. Some freak you are. My life. I've never heard of anyone taking uh two weeks to finish an hour and a half long episode.
SPEAKER_12Listen, listen to me, okay? I started, I have like 20 minutes left. I love the episode. I just forget to turn it back on because I I'm into listening to music right now on my way home from work, into work. So I go through these phases. I can't blame it. Podcasts, music, podcasts.
SPEAKER_11You got the majority of it. That's all that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_05I've actually been listening to music a little bit more myself. And last podcast on the left.
SPEAKER_11So they're very good.
SPEAKER_05They're very funny.
SPEAKER_11Little plug. I have been in a trap in EDM music. Do you like subtronics? Subtronics. Like, is that a group? I couldn't. It's like or a genre. EDM. It's just a group. Oh, I mean, they might be on my saved. I saved some songs, but like I don't do a deep dive into really who they are, except for just occasional things.
SPEAKER_12I found them through this artist called Oliver Tree, who like just recently passed away. Um R A P. R.A.P. Yeah. Very tragic. It was a helicopter crash in Rio de Janeiro. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, but he did a song called Fuck the Whole World, and it's with subtronics, and it's freaking amazing. I'll play it for you later. But it's good. I think you'd like it.
SPEAKER_05All right. But the Ayatollah rock and roller here, she had some stuff she wanted to say.
SPEAKER_11So I was just talking about it. It's happy to like I'm happy to be back because we were on a little bit of a hiatus, and I mean it's been over a month. Has it been a month?
SPEAKER_05It has been a little over a month.
SPEAKER_11I was thinking three weeks, but it's all right.
SPEAKER_05These things they you know what they happen.
SPEAKER_11No, I'm happy to be back. We'll have to figure out like budget for, you know, hey, we need some sponsors so I can take some gear on the road.
SPEAKER_05Tell you what, I actually gotta say, I actually I mean, you know, if you're ever on the road again and you want to do an episode, he are you serious?
SPEAKER_12He already started. You already started, guys. Of course. Either that or it's the Chick-fil-A that I can still smell.
SPEAKER_05Co-fax. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_12Stay over there.
SPEAKER_05Yay. Fucking foul.
SPEAKER_12I should get my um spray that absorbs odors in the air that I found on TikTok.
SPEAKER_11We could also kill a shit monster, a shit demon with your odor spray. Yeah. Well, so go get it because that is coming out of Kofax's ass. I'm gonna get the spray. Be on guard.
SPEAKER_05Please do.
SPEAKER_11We need our defense system in here.
SPEAKER_05Nor normally I do not condone someone getting up in the middle of the show by this.
SPEAKER_11We talk about Kofax's farts way too much in this every single time.
SPEAKER_05I've said it before I've said it before. When I had my setup down in the basement, he would do it down there. And now I'm up here. You'd think I'm up there.
SPEAKER_11I'm just like, hey peeps, I'm here too.
SPEAKER_05I'm upstairs.
SPEAKER_11I'm up there. When is my introduction gonna be? Well, I think you just had it. Maybe we should well, maybe that is what it is. If we don't say anything, he says something with his ass.
SPEAKER_05It's kind of hard to do a podcast when he comes in here and he does a fucking room clearer every single time. I need people to actually stay in the room to talk.
SPEAKER_11I'm I am so ready for this movie talking about shit monsters uh coming out of Kofax's ass. I'm so ready for this movie. It's been a long time coming, I feel.
SPEAKER_05I I still love this movie to this day. I really do. And it's and it's old. It's a it's a 27-year-old movie came out in 99. Yeah, yeah. So all right, you're back? I'm back. You kind of rocked the house on the microphone there as you were leaving.
SPEAKER_12Oh, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_05That's all right.
SPEAKER_12My bad. I'm gonna rock it now, getting closer.
SPEAKER_11It was just sound effects to, you know, tell us the urgency of getting the spray.
SPEAKER_08You could, guys, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna do it.
unknownYeah. All right.
SPEAKER_08You can edit that out, right?
SPEAKER_05No, I'm gonna leave it in. This is Megan, this is art.
SPEAKER_12Rhymes with something else. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Hello, Kofax. Thanks for hanging around.
SPEAKER_12Stop licking her legs. Stop licking her legs.
SPEAKER_05All right.
SPEAKER_12He's he's a freak.
SPEAKER_05Megan, my actual co-host. Do you have anything else you want to add?
SPEAKER_11No, no, let's get to it.
SPEAKER_05Around the road with your son and three dogs.
SPEAKER_11Oh, yeah, that was my vacation, but uh yeah.
SPEAKER_05On a three dog night?
SPEAKER_11Mm-hmm. No, it was ten days I was gone in Jacksonville, but it was two days to get there, two days to get back. Yeah. Sucked.
SPEAKER_02There we go. Sucked. Stop it.
SPEAKER_12It did, it did suck ass co facts.
SPEAKER_05He's contributed enough.
SPEAKER_12Did your husband get to join you down there at all?
SPEAKER_11No. He wasn't about to come and fly for a weekend for like $700, $800 just to get there. That's crazy. Fuel prices are crazy. Yeah. But I have to say it was nice to like, I got gas for $339 in Georgia. Damn. It's like $4.30 here, isn't it?
SPEAKER_05It's about anywhere from 80 cents to a butt cheaper.
SPEAKER_11They had the Wolf Pack out as always in Georgia on the interstate. That's what my stepdad calls the police. Oh yeah. So the Wolf Pack was packing full. And yeah, so they give you good gas prices, but boy, they make you mosey through that damn state.
SPEAKER_05I was saying, I think Ohio might be the same way. I don't know about the gas prices in Ohio, but I I think Ohio State Police, they don't mess around.
SPEAKER_11I think is it Illinois and California are one of the highest in New York? Probably.
SPEAKER_12Let's get to this trailer.
SPEAKER_05Alright, yes. Please.
SPEAKER_12Did you even introduce what we're actually talking about?
SPEAKER_11Dogma.
SPEAKER_05Talking about dogma. Did I? You know, that's a good point. I don't know if well, the title's out there.
SPEAKER_11We were getting to the trailer and then I think we go through the cath, but you do you do you, Mick, in the order that you want to do it in.
SPEAKER_05Yes. We are talking about dogma. Megan, thank you. What are you doing?
SPEAKER_12I'm trying to move because I keep making my head out. This is your fault.
SPEAKER_07Let's get to the trailer. I can spot a commandment breaker from a mile away. Right there. There's one. Excuse me. Are you married? What do you think? To her? No. Ladies and gentlemen. God has grown weary of your superficial faith. Hypocrites. Charlatans. He has abandoned you to the whim of judgment. Prepare to taste God's wrath. To taste the New Jersey, please.
SPEAKER_06God's decreed that I'm to charge you with a holy crusade. Stop a couple of angels from re-entering heaven. We're going home. If they get in, they'll animate the world. Right. So how do I know you're an angel? As I was saying, you won't be alone. Angels, prophet, and all people. You gotta be kidding me.
SPEAKER_01Between guys with wings.
SPEAKER_07Outstanding work!
SPEAKER_01Guys falling out of the sky. Stop! A guy trying like hell to kill me. I'm ready to kick back. Welcome to the end of existence.
SPEAKER_03Holy f The whole of existence is in jeopardy right now. You're the one who's gonna help change that.
SPEAKER_00Fill them pews, people! Hook 'em while they're young. Kinda like the tobacco industry. Christ, if only we had their numbers.
SPEAKER_05Oh, the late great George Carlin. Alright, Dogma. RP. Dogma stars Ben Affleck, Matt uh Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Alan Rickman, Jason Mews, Kevin Smith, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee, and of course, the legendary late great George Carlin. It was released um, excuse me, November 12th, 1999. Fantastic year, by the way. And was written and directed by Kevin Smith. Before we go into the deep dive, you got your hand up, Megan? What's up?
SPEAKER_11Oh, I was just saying how like this was such this was my crusade, my odyssey to like watch this film with trying to get, you know, you can't find it on a streaming service. And then, you know, you get DVD. We order it on DVD. Can't get a DVD player, buy the wrong DVD. My chickens got killed in the process. Not because of this movie, but I don't know. Maybe sacrificial lands or sacrificial chickens was.
SPEAKER_05I don't know. Was that another play? Another plague?
SPEAKER_11I don't know. A plague, maybe by the name of a fox or a coyote. Both. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Maybe a weasel. I don't know.
SPEAKER_11But yeah. They got waxed. Woke up to dead bodies, you know, three days. It was awesome. But it totally like finally getting to watch it made me uh flood back like the affection I have for this film. I love it so much. I like it.
SPEAKER_12I was like, I have to be on this one. It was so good.
SPEAKER_11I really wish Clint watched it with me. He started to, but then he had stuff he had to do, and I was like, That was yeah.
SPEAKER_05I I you know the the fact that you were gonna let your four-year-old son. Oh no, you said Clinton, sorry. I thought you should say that. Oh Reagan.
SPEAKER_11No, I put the I I put my son's tablet in front of him and I was like, play a game. Mommy needs to watch this movie. Don't watch this. But was he listening? Yeah, but no, headphones. Clint didn't watch it or my girl. Got this. He got a lot of reality TV.
SPEAKER_05He got uh partially way through the movie and wasn't wasn't interested, huh?
SPEAKER_11Oh uh no, just to begin. I mean, he just had stuff he had to do, like meetings he had to do and stuff.
SPEAKER_05I understand.
SPEAKER_11Couldn't stand.
SPEAKER_05He's a very, very busy man. He's always on the move. All right. Dogma begins with an older gentleman played by Bud Corp, taking in the C air on the boardwalk in Asbury Park, New Jersey. At a time where he's most likely reflecting on memories of Maud. You'll catch that, catch that little reference there. He is then attacked by three teenagers on rollerblades and armed with hockey sticks. Reasoning behind this, of course, will be explained in due time. Megan, you got anything you want to add? Huh? Megan?
SPEAKER_12No.
SPEAKER_05Fascinating. We then cut to nearby, well, yeah, nearby St. Michael's Church, where Cardinal Glegg, played by George Carlin, is in the midst of launching his his Catholic Tyson moment there, launching his Catholicism Wow campaign, an effort to bring the Catholic faith a bit more into the mainstream and also to get people start attending church again. This is of course not limited to the retiring of the symbol of Jesus crucified and the unveiling of Buddy Christ. A much warmer symbol to remind everyone that in the words of Cardinal Glick, Christ didn't come to earth to give us the willies, came to help us out. He was a booster.
SPEAKER_11Good old Buddy Christ with his wink and his two finger guns, as my husband calls them.
SPEAKER_05Right over there, right by the zenith.
SPEAKER_11Christ is your friend.
SPEAKER_05He is he's right there, man.
SPEAKER_11Yep, Mick got a buddy Jesus for the office. I kind of like it.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Oh, I I guess not too. This is not an office. It's like one thumbs up and one pointing finger.
SPEAKER_05That's the office over there. This is the studio.
SPEAKER_11Oh, studio.
SPEAKER_05This is where I create. Yes. I mean, yes. This is what's gonna help. This is what's gonna help me retire to the south of Italy and put Regans and uh Riggins in a private school.
SPEAKER_12That's what's the right.
SPEAKER_05That's what this is gonna do.
SPEAKER_12Maybe she doesn't want her son in a private school. Maybe she's gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_07Private school, no private school. I don't give a fuck. We're gonna get rich. Options.
SPEAKER_12I feel I feel what you're putting out there, Mick.
SPEAKER_05I'm putting up.
SPEAKER_12Then I can buy all the designer handbags and shoes that I want.
SPEAKER_05I never said that. You'll be on an allowance, which will be ample.
SPEAKER_12We'll be $30 a week.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Okay.
SPEAKER_05Gotta keep you reined in, guys.
SPEAKER_12I'll give me just enough edibles to get me through to the next week.
SPEAKER_05Megan, what do you got? If you have anything.
SPEAKER_11Oh, uh no. I mean, I'm just I I'm just excited about this movie. Okay. Also, like the the like rebranding of Catholicism.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that was that was uh the rebranding of Jesus Christ. Even back then it was a little out there. I personally like the whole Buddy Christ thing. I think a lot of people out there would probably say it's a little sacrilegious, and they may not entirely be wrong, but it is a little sacrilegious.
SPEAKER_11It is there there was um oh god, a fun fact of uh um George Carlin, he refused to take off his ring because uh his wife had just passed. I don't know if you had that in your fun facts or not, but I had that uh I did.
SPEAKER_05So thanks for jumping the gun.
SPEAKER_11I couldn't remember. I'm sorry. I got on Reddit and like did a deep dive and was like, oh this is a cinematic Meg podcast.
SPEAKER_05This isn't crime junkie.
SPEAKER_11I didn't mean to steal your thunder though, on a fact.
SPEAKER_05I don't think you could steal my thunder. I I only have a few egotistical moments throughout the day or in the past half hour, and I just kind of just keep going and from there on out. And that was one of them. I don't think you could steal my thunder. You could try.
SPEAKER_11Try. I don't want to be a thunder stealer.
SPEAKER_05No, you'd rather be a thunder buddy.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, boom, boom. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05All right, anyway, so now we start getting to the real meat of this whole story. Banished Angels, Loki, played by Matt Damon, and Bartley, played by Ben Affleck, have been sent a newspaper article by a mysterious source revealing a way for them to return to heaven or go home, as they charmingly refer to it throughout the movie. Loki was the angel of death and drunkenly quit his position and flipped off God. Not good, Loki. In the process at the suggestion, or yeah, in the process at the suggestion of his best friend Bartley, thus the banishment. While they're not evil, they haven't been sent to hell. It has led them to someplace worse. Wisconsin. I mean, I'm from Chicago. Preach. What the hell do you want? Preach. Exactly. Megan.
SPEAKER_11I concur. You concur? I concur, Go Bears. Megan, go Jags, go Jags though. I will say both, but until we meet this year in the stadium. In December.
SPEAKER_05I know. We should go. When the Jaguars have to come to soldier.
SPEAKER_11I know. I've been thinking about it and trying to figure out, like, because I hate the cold. So, like, what can I do to be warm during this? And if yeah.
SPEAKER_05But I'm kind of a freaking nature anyway, though, so I hate the summer. I hate summer.
SPEAKER_11Floridian. I love it. I love the summer.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you're you're southern and you you just love summer. You love lake time, beach time, all that.
SPEAKER_12Well, yeah, because I grew up going to Michigan in the summers, and it's cooler there because you're on a lake.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I just summer just makes me almost mean. I'm too irish. Like Olaf. I'm too Irish for that shit.
SPEAKER_12I'm too Irish. Way too Irish for that shit. Did you so do you know if Bartleby and um Loki Loki are real angels? Do you know? Loki is not in the Catholic Bible, no. They they are fictional characters in the story. Loki is the god of yeah, he's he's in um I don't know if it is it Greek myths. Norse mythology. Yeah. Yeah. Fun fact.
SPEAKER_05Uh the god of uh mischief, isn't he?
SPEAKER_12Yes, yes. I only know that from Thor.
SPEAKER_05I think I first heard that in the movie The Mask, but then yes.
SPEAKER_11Yes, yes, yes, when they were yeah.
SPEAKER_05Alright. So anyway, this is not exactly a good thing, though, because if Loki and Bartleby succeed in returning to heaven, it will reverse God's decree. Since God is indeed infallible, proving him wrong would proving him or her wrong would unmake existence in the blink of an eye. I should point out that Loki has decided to retake his post by dishing out divine justice to the wicked on their path from Wisconsin to New Jersey. I'm sure we'll touch down on this all a lot more later. Of course we will. Then we meet Bethany, played by Linda Fiorentino, a divorced Catholic woman who is clearly struggling with her faith.
SPEAKER_11A devout Catholic working at a pro-choice abortion clinic. Yeah, classic. Loved that.
SPEAKER_12Like what do you call that? Age I can't think of the word.
SPEAKER_11New age Catholic?
SPEAKER_12Yeah, new age Catholic, but it's like an oxymoron, right? Yeah. Yeah. Or ironic.
SPEAKER_11Yes.
SPEAKER_12So isn't it ironic? Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Just a little bit.
SPEAKER_12What I love about when you like see her in church, and what well, actually, what really drives me crazy is she's like the only one reciting the Lord's Prayer. I'm like, in a real Catholic church, everybody recites the Lord's Prayer. And if you don't, you get a nudge from your neighbor, like, hey, this is the Lord's Prayer, not up, you know?
SPEAKER_05But there is there's quite a bit going on during that mass service. And you got a couple of asshole kids that are wrestling around with a little toy movie, the golden calf. We get to that. You got somebody sleeping.
SPEAKER_12Yeah. Which you like if you go like I've been going to church for most of my life, right?
SPEAKER_05Did you go last Sunday, Megan?
SPEAKER_12No, I mean, but I go, like, I've gone within the past six months. So what I'm saying is, like, when I was a kid, it was like, it was like, yes, yes, you're right. When I was a kid, it was twice a week that I would go. So I feel like I've kind of done, you know, like I've done my church. But but you always knew in church when someone was in trouble because you would get dragged out by your parents and you'd have to sit behind the glass. And if you were behind the glass, you were a bad kid. So like then on Monday at school, we'd be like, Hey, why did you get pulled out of church and get put behind the glass? Like, what were you doing? It was like this whole thing.
SPEAKER_11Well, the what is it? That's harsh. Is it Chris Rock that says it? Um, when he's explaining some stuff in the movie where he's uh he says Catholics uh mourn their religion instead of celebrate it. Yes. I thought that was an interesting I thought it was too, and you kind of see it in that first scene, you know, of it like everybody just kind of there to be there because it's they're supposed to be there because they're Catholic.
SPEAKER_05They may not necessarily wanna be there, but it's that Catholic guilt that it drags them there.
SPEAKER_11I mean, I don't really hear devout Baptist in describing a Baptist. I don't really hear like devout, like a devout Christian, yeah, but also devout Catholic is what you hear mostly.
SPEAKER_12It's like very much a you go and you are reminded of all the sacrifices that God and and Jesus and the you know, you know what I did for you? Yeah, and it's like You know what I did for you? Are you being grateful? Have you sinned? You need to fess up to your sins and be a good person because Jesus did all these things. Jesus died for our sins and you feel guilty. It's guilty, it's what it is.
SPEAKER_11So I grew up Baptist, Southern Baptists. Uh we went to a it was very charismatic, you know, had the live band going all the time. Nice. You know, but you were frowned at and like got like grabbed pearls around you if you even danced or like shook your booty a little bit to this music that was happening, and they'd be like, Oh, look at her.
SPEAKER_08She's just shaking her booty and crit in church, you know. What's the problem?
SPEAKER_05The divine power of the Holy Spirit's moving through you. And then I've obviously manifests it in different ways. I don't I don't see the problem here. Get out there and shake it like you ain't gonna break it. Yeah, absolutely. Even if it's at church, go ahead.
SPEAKER_11I vi visited, I don't we weren't a part of, but visited like the charismatic churches that speak in tongues, so that was interesting. That's that's thirty for churches. Oh no. Uh there are some that do that, you know, the you need a healing.
SPEAKER_08Some true settled now. Oh, that's more like probably a black church right there.
SPEAKER_05You see um in the beginning sequence of true blood with her woman's like all convulsing and shit.
SPEAKER_12Or um in American Horror Story Coven, Misty Misty Day, she's kind of part of that. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11I I love a good sermon. Like, I don't go to the church anymore. I'm very spiritual. Um, but I I do love and enjoy a good sermon, and I will always get emotional in church if you bring me. Like, I will cry. I will always cry.
SPEAKER_12Now I want to take you to a Catholic mass and stuff.
SPEAKER_11But there's there's a there's a joke that I heard from a pastor, and it was like describing how Southern Baptists are, and it's this man who's stranded on an island and he builds these three huts. He comes to get rescued, and uh, or people come to rescue him and they're like, Hey, are you here by yourself? He's like, Yeah. They're like, Why these three huts? And so he's like, Well, one was my house, okay, yeah, we get it. The second one is my church. I'm a you know, Baptist, Southern Baptist, capital B. And they're like, Oh, okay, all right, all right. And he's like, Well, what's the third hut for? And he's like, Are you kidding? I had to change churches.
SPEAKER_05All right, real quick, who's your real quick question? Who's your favorite T uh televangelist?
SPEAKER_11Oh, I don't know any names.
SPEAKER_05I used to not down with old Joel Osteen. God, multimillionaire Joel Osteen.
SPEAKER_11Was he was he the one with the real hard hair?
SPEAKER_05Maybe.
SPEAKER_11There was a purple-haired lady I saw a lot. Tammy, was her name Tammy?
SPEAKER_05Tammy Faye Tammy Faye Faye Baker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. PDL. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. She my uh we had this old lady babysitter that would just watch them and be on the phone. Like, she wouldn't even care what we were doing, but she would be on the phone with all of them like donating all of her money.
SPEAKER_05It's a PDL, praise the Lord. Yeah, they even had their own uh Christian amusement park because God wants you to be was it fruit, not not fruitful, but uh God wants you to be rich.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, there's the uh Bible, I don't know. There's there's one of them in um in Orlando. Like when you go there, there's one of the Christian like church.
SPEAKER_05Well, Tammy Tammy Faye's dead, but uh Jim Baker, I think, is still alive.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Mine, I think, was Jimmy Swaggard. Jimmy Swagger, man. He was the one that cried all the time. Oh man, he he was the um he was the prude in public, but the pervert in private. He liked hookers. Got caught with hookers, I think, on more than one occasion. So you go, Jimmy Swagger.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah, how to plant a seed.
SPEAKER_12I wasn't allowed the I wasn't allowed to watch televangelists. Like anytime they would come on, like if I was at my grandparents' house, my grandma would be like, We're not watching this. And I'm like, why? It's so cool.
SPEAKER_05Your grandma did you a favor, that's why.
SPEAKER_12She's like, they're not real god-fearing people or something like that. She's like, they just care about money, and I was like, Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05But also spoken like a true Catholic.
SPEAKER_12Which is you know, which is funny because like the you know, Vatican is rich, like the the Catholic faith has money, but then you get out into like the United States, and these churches struggle for parishioners, they struggle for keeping the lights on, and I'm like, Where's the love Pope? You know, where are you at? I don't know.
SPEAKER_05I will never forget the time we had to meet with the priest before Megan and I got married. And this guy asked me if I um if I would reconsider getting back involved with the church. I just I was like, I think it's time to start mixing a little more water with that wine there, Padre. Like I just'm not sure if I see that happening. I was just like, yeah, uh, no, I don't think so. I'm good.
SPEAKER_12I'm still very disappointed that we did not we have not gotten our marriage blessed. It's like I've gotten every sacrament except marriage and death yet. It's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_05I know, but life is full of disappointments, and you know, we persevere, we move on, and you know, go out there into the world, tits up, and we do our thing.
SPEAKER_12The problem is is that he would have had to uh annulled his marriage to his first wife. And yeah, that's the thing about Catholics. He's just lazy, doesn't he?
SPEAKER_11They want to say it never happened. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but I had three children from my first marriage.
SPEAKER_11I know.
SPEAKER_05So what is that? I mean I know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11So then they want to like not recognize your kids in the Catholic church after that. And then uh I mean it's I don't know. I I feel like we're it's not true anymore because we brought that up. Okay, I I hey, hey, hey, all right, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I kind of feel like we're kind of getting off into a different thing. This was supposed to be funny. I thought no, I'm not. You know that thing that you were uh said wasn't kicking in yet? I think it's kicking in now.
SPEAKER_12Just a little bit. I can feel it in my cheek buttons.
SPEAKER_05Well, you're never gonna get anywhere in life all hopped up on the dope, okay.
SPEAKER_11Real real quick, um, before we get back into it, I do want to say, like, I was super like I went to youth group every Wednesday. I went to church. I was the only one in my family out of the kids that like decided to get baptized, and I would go to church all the time. And I was part of the church group at school, which was like Club 121, where we bring a one-to-one relationship with Jesus Christ. And we had our leaders and we tried to get all these students because it was student-led. That was the only way we could have any church stuff on school grounds. And I swallowed a live goldfish for Christ. I swallowed a live goldfish. Why? What did it feel it? Yeah, it like the tail and shit came back up, and I was like, straight up trying to go all fishes and loaves there, worse. Yeah, I don't know what the head of like the Club 121 group was thinking. I don't know, and I don't know why I was. Serial killer, maybe? I also was this like Jinko wearing, you know, spiky hair, and we were called Jesus Freaks. So like I went to church camp, but I went with like kids that this kid put wood glue in his hair to look kind of like have hair like Wayne Static.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Like it was Wayne's static is pretty cool.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Well, he was. He's no longer with us. Oh, he's dead? Yeah, he's been dead for a while.
SPEAKER_11When did he die?
SPEAKER_052011.
SPEAKER_11Of what? Man, R.I.P.
SPEAKER_05Um I I think he OD'd, I think. I'm not sure. I I don't quote me on that.
SPEAKER_12Speaking of OD, um, it's been circulating on TikTok the pictures of Kurt Cobain's suicide. Uh-oh. People are sharing those pictures again. I'm like, come on. Oh, sorry. That's him.
SPEAKER_05Uh died in 2014, November 1st, 2014. Almost made it to his 49th birthday. About three days shy of his 49th birthday. Well, it was the cause of death. Jinx.
SPEAKER_11You owe me a beer. I was gonna say, you can't dink me. I'm on a podcast right now.
SPEAKER_05Uh well, let's see. An autopsy confirmed his death was an accidental result of mixed prescription drug toxicity.
SPEAKER_12Oh, like Fledger?
SPEAKER_05Including oxycodone, hydromorphone, and Alprazzl, Alprazzolam. Oh, these combined with the way. So shortly after all this, now we're finally back to the movie. Shortly after all this, we are introduced to Azriel, played by Jason Lee, a former muse, turned demon, after he was actually banished to hell due to refusing to pick the righteous side during the war after Lucifer's rebellion. He then sends the three demonic teenagers to kill Bethany.
SPEAKER_11He plays his part so well. He plays his part so well. And at one point he does this uh maniacal laugh with this smile that is just like like it looks like one of the little devils on a deck of cards. It's so good.
SPEAKER_05Is that the part where he makes the holy bartender?
SPEAKER_11Uh I I think so.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Then I'm gone. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_12I was not expecting him to like light the guy up like a Tommy gun. I was expecting like a just a shot to the head, and that would be the holy bartender.
SPEAKER_05He straight up, oh no, he saw that he straight up went to the biggest. Little Susie Uzi though. Otherwise, it's not really a holy bartender then. If it's just well, I don't know, maybe all technicalities aside.
SPEAKER_11In in one of my little facts that I read, um Kevin Lee went to Jason or Kevin Smith and went to Jason and said, Hey man, this isn't like clerks. Get it together on this film. Yeah. And Jason uh memorized the whole entire script, everybody's line.
SPEAKER_05Oh, no, no, I think you get a little mixed up there, buddy. He had to say that to Jason Mews.
SPEAKER_11No, I don't think it is. Yes. It wasn't Jason Muse.
SPEAKER_05It's Jason Mews. I don't think it was the J and J and Silent Bob, and I'll tell you why because he was on heroin.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_05In fact, the scene, the scene at the bar where the he makes the holy bartender, Ezra does, um, they couldn't quite keep it out. Jason Muse is straight nodding out in that scene.
SPEAKER_12It's really sad to watch. Yeah, it is. It's really sad.
SPEAKER_05But he's he's been clean for over a decade now.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So I hear he's doing great, which is awesome. But at the time he was kind of a hot fucking mess.
SPEAKER_09Oh, was it Jason Mews?
SPEAKER_05I don't know. It was Jason Muse, trust me.
SPEAKER_12So was Asreel was he like a good guy, go goes bad?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, he was he was a muse, just like serendipity, just like Selma Hyde's character. I mustn't miss it. Because he was sitting there, because he did not have faith in the righteous side, God was all like, hey, you, you asshole who refuse to fight, get out. You want to side with them? Get out of here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And then he was no longer an angel, he was a demon. And demons can and cannot transubstantiate. They can't become human. But angels can. So yeah. Anyway. In this movie. In this movie, yes. Moving right along, we are introduced to the Metatron, played by Alan Rickman. The Metatron acts as the voice of God. Kind of like a mediator, as humans are incapable of handling the voice of the Almighty. The Metatron informs Bethany that she has been charged with a holy crusade. She has been tasked with stopping Loki and Bartleby from entering the church and ultimately finding a loophole to get back into heaven. He also informs her that she will not have to take on this quest alone. That she will have assistance in the form of two prophets, Jay and Silent Bob. And to um to go ahead and say here right now, I don't know how the hell this happened, but like half of my fucking notes for this episode just kind of vanished. I really don't know how. But this is actually not necessarily a bad thing. Because it's gonna give my co-host more of an opportunity to just kind of get in here and do a lot more talking.
SPEAKER_11Are you ready?
SPEAKER_05I think you're ready.
SPEAKER_11I mean, what what do you I like okay? I'm stretching.
SPEAKER_05You literally emailed me notes earlier today.
SPEAKER_11Well, it's just things that I wanted to like hit on, and I wanted to make sure that you knew like um, yeah. Uh I didn't know if you had the if you did you ever get the soundbite of this nooch?
SPEAKER_05I did not. Well, we I mean to the motherfucking nooch.
SPEAKER_11Snooch to the motherfucking ooch.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna say that anytime I say we can play that scene right now if you want.
SPEAKER_11Let's do it.
SPEAKER_12I love how they sound like fly.
SPEAKER_11I know I love that you know.
SPEAKER_05That's because they're they're demonic.
SPEAKER_08You don't think we just got pulled over outside?
SPEAKER_05I know they were just kids down the bottom kick their fucking pupil tennis.
SPEAKER_12I'm gonna that's gonna be my new beer. Can we go up to Barney's after this and get a beer and just yell it really loud.
SPEAKER_11When he like goes to do something big, he's gonna go snooch to the motherfuckin' nooch.
SPEAKER_04Snoogins. I know they were just kids with the fucking published asses.
SPEAKER_12So these two are the Prophet. So they're not human either, is how they were able to jump down out of the air, right? Uh no, they're human. Yeah, they are so how did they come from above their in that scene?
SPEAKER_05I don't know. It's a movie.
SPEAKER_11Well, they jumped, yeah. They just came. Well, they were traveling. You heard their travels. They traveled, where were they traveling from?
SPEAKER_05Jersey.
SPEAKER_11Well, they were going to Jersey.
SPEAKER_05No, they're coming from Jersey to Shermer, Illinois. That's the whole giant.
SPEAKER_11Oh, oh, that's right. But they were on their way back because there was no Shermer in Illinois. So they're on their way back to New Jersey.
SPEAKER_05Like 16 candles. Pretty good movie. It's got tits, but no bush. And you got weird science where this good-looking woman wants to get her gear down and get down, but she won't because it's a PG movie.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, so they're definitely humans.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And then they wanted to be the fat blunt connection in Sherman, Illinois, because the women were all top shelf and the guys were all whiny pussies. Except for Judd Nelson. He was harsh.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he was.
SPEAKER_05Alright. So basically, after all that, they go to the diner. They go to and we'll talk about the diner scene here in a little while. On their way, after Jay just brutally destroys Bethany's car, is when they meet up with Rufus. Oh, yeah. And I gotta play this too. Okay. Wait, hold on.
SPEAKER_04It's you breaking up with us? Who the hell do you think you are, lady? You can't just go around breaking people's hearts like that. I fell in love with you. We fell in love with you. Guys like us just don't follow the fucking sky, you know. Beautiful, naked, big titted women just don't follow the sky, you know.
SPEAKER_05You you can't blame the guy for trying. You really just you just can't. You cannot blame the guy for trying.
SPEAKER_11I mean, boy, does he try to do that?
SPEAKER_05In 99, I in November in 99, I was 18 years old. I probably would have tried the same thing.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Wouldn't have been successful, but you know, my god, you know, you sometimes just gotta go for it. So that's where we meet Rufus. Yeah. The 13th apostle, who is wanting to help on Bethany's journey, and he's also kind of got his own little um uh what am I looking for? He's got his own journey. He's got his own motive. Yeah, that's that's he's the 13th apostle. He's been left out of the left out of the Bible. Why? Because he's black. Because he's black. It's usually long.
SPEAKER_11Jesus was black, so he didn't get it. Right. Which is funny. I love that he says that he was left out because he was black. Because there was no 13th apostle. Yeah, but uh also you know, Jesus wasn't white. We don't know what Jesus was. That's right. He was not a Caucasian, no.
SPEAKER_05I mean Burster Lusal. You know what? Could have been He was the Messiah, that should be enough.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, I mean, it doesn't matter, but Israel people are super yeah, no, they're Middle Eastern, you know.
SPEAKER_11This Tom Dicker Harry.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, or it could have or God is a woman.
SPEAKER_11Well, God is a woman. Well, in this movie. Jesus was a man.
SPEAKER_12Jesus was a man. Excellent.
SPEAKER_05So they also meet serendipity, played by Selma Hayek. Oh god, she's so hot.
SPEAKER_12Was a muse, and is it bad that like I knew who the actress was before I saw her face by her ass? Oh, no, not that's because of that one movie that she was in where she was a stripper in that movie too.
SPEAKER_05Oh, from Dust Told. Yes. That movie sucks. That is an awful movie. It is a bad movie.
SPEAKER_11But it's nostalgic. You know, yeah. Really?
SPEAKER_12I kind of do.
SPEAKER_11I didn't know. Is it four rooms?
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_11Four rooms was that.
SPEAKER_05I haven't got a problem. I've got problems. Plural. So serendipity, the muse. Was a muse, still is a muse. The inspiration behind the Bible. Sure. Let's have her enter in with the hotness as a stripper. A stripper. These are Megan's notes, not mine. Muse.
SPEAKER_11I mean, yeah, she was so hot. She's just so she is a beautiful woman. And even now.
SPEAKER_05Since she is an angel, she is sand's genitalia. I feel like we have to add that in there too.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, we didn't get to see hers. We got to see uh she had boobs though. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Isn't that genitalia a little bit? No. No? No. It's just the lower parts only. Oh.
SPEAKER_11Where are your genitals? In the southern region of my body. There you go. Genitalia. It's plural for genitals. I'm having a I didn't take biology. I guess genitals is plural for genitals. Genitalia is the proper way, I guess, would say. So penis, penis, penis.
SPEAKER_05Vagina, vagina, vagina. Are we going? We're going back here. We're going back to varsity blues here. You weren't even here for that one.
SPEAKER_08What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_05No, but you just had to, you couldn't resist. So moving right along. Let's let's keep let's keep rolling here. Okay, we're about 40 minutes here. I don't want this to go on too long. I want people to actually listen. I want people to enjoy this stuff. So they're on um, they have a chance meeting on a train where they meet up with Loki and Bartleby. Unbeknownst because they have no idea who Bethany is, they have no idea who they are. The only one that does recognize them is Chris Rock. Everything is going on. And he was sleeping. He was sleeping. And checking out blonde women in the hallway to the train. Can't fault them there.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, but that was just a moment.
SPEAKER_05So as Bartleby and Bethany are talking, uh they flirting. They are, yes. Even though Bartleby can't do nothing about it.
SPEAKER_11So Yeah, he's not even drunk because he can't drink.
SPEAKER_05Yep. That's true.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_05While Bethany can uh can drink, can get drunk, and ends up doing both and spills out the entire plan. When Bartleby realizes that the woman that he well he's not he doesn't have to destroy her, but she's the one that is sent to stop him. And he knows that there's a good chance that she could pull it off. That is when Bartleby pretty much loses his shit. Though Silent Bob throws both of them off the train and they're saved, Bartleby totally flips the freaking script. Loki is no longer interested in handing out divine justice. He sees Bartleby has pretty much gone batshit and is convinced that Bartleby is not just talking about going home, but declaring war on God.
SPEAKER_11Sounds like Lucifer.
SPEAKER_05Yep, the morning star. And he has seen way too many people. He has seen what happens to the proud. They take on the throne. And it ain't good. Yep. So Loki decides he wants to go back to Wisconsin. Barbie says, no, we're going to Jersey.
SPEAKER_11I just realized that he did.
SPEAKER_05Going home.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I just realized that um Loki did cut off his own wings. I didn't realize that before. And then all the many times, and that's why he was human for some reason that just clicked, and I'm like, uh no, he's at at this party's still an angel.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but he hasn't cut off his own wings until that's why you should.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, towards the end of the movie. But don't want to jump ahead. Don't want to jump ahead.
SPEAKER_05I think we just did.
SPEAKER_11That's all right. That's all right. We'll moonwalk it back. Yeah. So flip it and reverse it.
SPEAKER_05In jersey.
SPEAKER_11Sir?
SPEAKER_12And I said skirt. You didn't hear the reference, I mean. There's a Missy Elephant. Elephant on the Missy Elliot.
SPEAKER_11You're gonna get a you're gonna get a DM about that.
SPEAKER_12Cut that one out. It was the edible in the colour. Did you take an edible? No. What the fuck is wrong with you two? She she took a drag of her pen.
SPEAKER_11But yeah, that's just like air. You just wish you could be on our level.
SPEAKER_12That's just air to me. Just air.
SPEAKER_05Fucking destroy you both. Alright. So after all this, now we're in Jersey. Where, well, actually, no, not quite yet. So Bethany, Rufus, Jay, Silent Bob, all decide to get off the train. Kind of keep it low pro. And this is where Chris, or this is where Rufus finally tells Bethany that she is an extremely distant relative of Jesus, the Messiah. Like something the last Zion. Yeah, she's the last Zion. So of course, this is all kind of huge news to her. The Metatron comes back and he says, Why not go out with some style? Takes him to a restaurant, and this is where Stone J says, hey, why don't we just ask the Cardinal to cancel the ceremony? So that's what they try to do. They try to go visit the Cardinal, get him to call it off. Cardinal says, No, nice. Not gonna happen. Now I'm a very important man with very important matters. So that plan goes down the shitter.
SPEAKER_12Can I just say when what's her face? What's her name? Jennifer?
SPEAKER_05Bethany.
SPEAKER_12Bethany. When she finds out Jennifer's not even close.
SPEAKER_11Samsonite.
SPEAKER_12I'm not good with remembering names, okay? Um so when Bethany finds out that she is a like the last scion of Jesus, I hate that scene. And she goes stomping into the water. I'm like, Oh, why do you get wet? Well the why you why are you in a puddle right now?
SPEAKER_11Why are you being a big thing? No, no, that wasn't that wasn't like you're about to do something really big.
SPEAKER_05That wasn't necessarily a downside. The white sweater getting wet was actually one the one redeeming quality to the scene, but uh you're right. The rest of it is I didn't even know she had a white sweater on. Oh, yeah, she did. Yeah, I noticed.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, of course you did. Of course you did, you pig.
unknownCome on.
SPEAKER_05Boobs. I was saying, we talking about here with a total pig. Everyone knows this.
SPEAKER_12Here he would be in that movie, um, 40-year-old not 40-year-old virgin, um knocked up where knocked up where they're watching pornos and her movies to find Bush in the movies. He'd be the guy going bush, bush, bush. Oh yeah, 30.
SPEAKER_05Maybe possibly. So anyway, so that plan goes to shit. So they go to the bar, and that's where they run into Azriel, and Azriel basically tells them that he's the one that sent the newspaper article to Loki and Bartlebean. Not not to help them out, but because he's actually counting on them succeeding and having all of existence wiped out.
SPEAKER_12Or is he just hoping to get back into heaven?
SPEAKER_05No, he's he that's not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_11Okay, yeah, he's he just wants the world to end because he doesn't want to be in hell anymore. If he can't get out, he's taking everybody with him.
SPEAKER_05He actually says to Bethany, he says, Have you ever been to hell? I'd rather not exist and go back to that. So Ezrael may be evil, but he's not stupid. Yeah, but this, of course, is not go to plan. They stole Cardinal Glick's driver before they took off, obviously. And since the card the good Cardinal blessed his golf clubs for a better golf game, the one free shot that Ezrael gives Silent Bob kills him. And Bethany blesses the sink behind the bar and they drown the three mighty duckfucks.
SPEAKER_11They go to the church to find they wicked witched their asses. Yeah, they did. That's really what they did.
SPEAKER_05They make way to the church and they find a sea of dead people at the Catholicism WoW celebration. Loki and Bartleby have just gone apeshit. Maybe more so Bartleby, I don't think. Because Loki doesn't want to do it.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, Loki doesn't want to go there.
SPEAKER_05But Bartleby's like, I'm done. I've had it.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_05He's like, he has shown them infinite fucking patience, and some of them doesn't even don't even believe he exists.
SPEAKER_11Mm-hmm. I like what he said um when he was talking about, you know, getting sent to Earth. They're servants, and they're not there with free will. And so they have to feel the pain and the loss of God in their lives. And so they're kind of like an internal, you know, pain because they've been banished to Earth and they're hu well, not human, but that's where they are. And so, yeah, I thought that was pretty interesting. I'm like, oh, that is that you didn't just get to like live amongst the people for all of eternity, but you had to be in pain the whole time, too.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Pain, but not pain and suffering. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_12So I love that scene when they like roll up on him and they're like, Where's Bartleby?
SPEAKER_05And Loki's like he just started picking up people off the road.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, he's just picking people off the road and dropping them, and it's just like he just could not stop.
SPEAKER_05That would be the cardinal. You can't tell by his face, but the robes are a dead giveaway. I guess Loki is shit face now. So anyway, Bartleby has um just plain, just gets tired of you know, Loki just kind of being on the fence about all this. He says he, I'm sorry, my friend, you've lost your faith, and Bartleby stabs and kills Loki. You want to jump in here at all?
SPEAKER_11Oh no, I was just waiting because I was gonna say, you know, let's talk about some big things that we did miss, like big scenes that I think are really fun and like good, good watching.
SPEAKER_05Like I was let's get through the synopsis.
SPEAKER_11Well, that was that's what I was waiting on. Then you eyeball me.
SPEAKER_05So when Bethany is told by uh is told by Jay that John Doe Jersey, the old the older man that was accosted at the very beginning of the film, is on life support at the hospital, she realizes that it's actually God in human form because God takes some time to come to earth and play a shit ton of skee ball. And since I love that God is not actually dead, because he would just go right back up to heaven, kick the shit out of Loki and Bartleby when they try to do this ill shit.
SPEAKER_11But if he's just subdued, if he's just kind of on the sideline, yeah, in a coma, still alive but trapped.
SPEAKER_05Exactly. Bethany runs, hauls ass at the hospital, and pulls the plug on God, thus killing him, sending him back to heaven. But she is a yeah, him, her, the almighty, right back up to paradise. But Bethany is martyred in the process, and Bethany is killed. At this point, Bartleby is just about to enter the church. His wings have been shot off by Jay, who's been told probably about a half a dozen times at this point, don't shoot off the fucking wings. And he still does it. I'd have been pissed off at Jay too. I'm sorry. It's like Jay, I love you, but holy shit, man. How many times do I gotta tell you to not do something, and yet you still do it? What's the matter with you? So where the doors open to the church and low and Bartleby is met by the Metatron and God, this time now played by Alanis Morriset. I love her.
SPEAKER_12I do too. I loved her as God. That was like one of my favorite things. Yep. She played that so well. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. God does end up forgiving Bartleby and decides to forgive and send him home by speaking, and well, makes Bartleby's heart explode in his chest, and his head just explode right off his shoulders. God then cleans up all the dead bodies, restores everything, and even brings Bethany back to life. Not only brings her back to life, but fully restores her. She can repair you, she can make you better.
SPEAKER_09Yes.
SPEAKER_05And it is here that we find out that Bethany is no longer the last Zion.
SPEAKER_09Yep.
SPEAKER_05That she has been impregnated due to Immaculate Conception.
SPEAKER_11Yep.
SPEAKER_05And that is the end of the movie.
SPEAKER_11Yep.
SPEAKER_05With Jay saying that pregnant women can have sex until well into their third trimester.
SPEAKER_12I wouldn't know anything about that. I'm asking you, is that true?
SPEAKER_11Uh I don't know. My husband was not interested in it.
SPEAKER_05That is the end of the movie.
SPEAKER_11To go back to knocked up, he was like Seth Rogan's character of like, I don't know. What am I doing? What if I'm hitting it? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05I love that. Since I've been doing so much of the talking, Megan McConville, what do you got for likes on this movie?
SPEAKER_12Um I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know.
SPEAKER_05You gotta please stop trying to hit it.
SPEAKER_12I can't help that.
SPEAKER_05It does happen. See, I just did it right there.
SPEAKER_12Yes. All right. Um, I loved in the beginning when Bartleby and Loki are at the airport and um Loki convinces the nun to just give it up.
SPEAKER_05Give it up. Yep. Take all this money, go buy yourself a go buy yourself a nice dress.
SPEAKER_11Relating it to Alice in Wonderland.
SPEAKER_05Looking uh through the looking glass. Did you notice that when they're on the what do they call that? The is that the the tram, whatever, the um the thing that's like a it's like the flat escalator, the thing that we just stand on, you can either walk a moving walkway? Yeah, moving walkway when they're on that. If I'd seen this movie so many times, I'd never noticed in the background the nun is in the background and she's like she's half in the bag. I mean, she's back there and she's all like she's having the time of her life, and people are trying to get her to calm down. Like, there you what are you doing, sister? You're making a spectacle of yourself. She's like, I don't care. I'm having a fucking blast over here. Leave me alone. Megan Abel.
SPEAKER_11Uh well, I love the scene of um when they go when they go to the golden calf um movie. Yeah, is it movie? Oh um movie headquarters. Yeah, the golden calf, the headquarters. And I mean, we didn't touch on that yet, but the uh the worship, like they're going to kill in the name of God these idol worshippers. Because it's the golden calf. Yeah. Golden calf. And then I just also like, you know, the showcasing that really the boardroom hasn't changed much in 2026. There's still like greedy pigs of men that just get away with anything because they're rich.
SPEAKER_05There's one woman there.
SPEAKER_11Yes, one woman who was a pure soul.
SPEAKER_05She was a pure soul, yes.
SPEAKER_11Yes. And he then he annihilates all of them, leaving her. Oh, well, first we must say that he sneezes at the beginning.
SPEAKER_05You didn't say God bless you when I sneezed.
SPEAKER_11And I say, I say bless you to every single person since I watched this movie the very first time, years, years, years ago. I am I was obnoxious with it. I'd be like, oh bless, bless you.
SPEAKER_05Full security.
SPEAKER_11Oh, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I love it too like when we're currently down. Just stop it already.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I love when uh um Bartle B says he only yells at Loki, like, Loki, no.
SPEAKER_08And he's like, You are so lucky.
SPEAKER_11Getting off light. Yeah, I that that was one of my favorites.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that is a good scene. He's calling out all the ill shit that people did. He's your son. This guy put his mother in a third-rate nursing home and used the money that he had saved over to buy himself an oriental rug. Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Very compassionate, Mr. Brace. This one here took the corporate jet to Thailand to having a have sex with an 11-year-old boy gross.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, yeah, that was disgusting. That scene is that is a very pivotal scene in this movie.
SPEAKER_05Um, let's see. Killing in the name of I freaking uh I love all the all the Easter eggs from past Kevin Smith movies. The whole like get 'em Steve Dave or the quick stop references or silent the men are talking on the train when they're talking about how they attach Silent Bob to a zip line all across the mall. If you've seen any of the past Kevin Smith movies, you know what I'm talking about. Ball rats, clerks, all that shit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um uh Megan, you're up.
SPEAKER_12Um, I love a lot of the references. Like they have a lot of good references, like you just said. Yeah. And the Con Air one was pretty funny too. Oh god.
SPEAKER_05That is such a bad movie.
SPEAKER_12Yeah. And the Chris Rock expressions. His expressions were amazing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I well, uh, I mean I liked him. His expressions were were all right.
SPEAKER_11His acting expressions did you say?
SPEAKER_05Chris Rock. Chris Rock.
SPEAKER_11Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I didn't think his acting was all that great in this movie, though.
SPEAKER_11Especially like No, he's just Chris Rock, where he just is like yelling the whole time every time he talks. It's just his life.
SPEAKER_05So, yeah, when he falls out of the sky and Jay's all looking at him, he's all like, Man, does he have a message written on him? Like in Conair? Did you guys see that shit? That shit was awesome. Did you notice what Chris Rock says when he's getting up? Uh-uh. He's like, Conair, con shit, that sucked. And I like Conair. I I do not.
SPEAKER_12Really?
SPEAKER_05Not really.
SPEAKER_12So when we watched it over Memorial Day at my aunt's.
SPEAKER_05I forgot how bad it was. Really? But it's it's better than The Rock. You ever seen the? Oh my gosh, I love The Rock. Really? I don't know. I don't know how they got Sean Connery to even do that. I mean, it's so bad. And I and I love me some Nicolas Cage. Did not particularly care for Nicolas Cage in that.
SPEAKER_11Oh my god. Yep. Loved it.
SPEAKER_05It's just sock.
SPEAKER_11I've seen it. Well, you know what? It's I had Conner and The Rock. Like, I would dig into like the $2 Ven at Walmart when I was in college. And so, because I didn't have cable, didn't have internet there. Yeah. And I would just, you know, whatever I could get, I would put on my DVD player. And so that was one of my It's just so like four or five. Wedding date was one of them.
SPEAKER_05It's just so Jerry Bruckheimer-ish. It's just it's just so Jerry Bruckheimer ish. It's almost too much. It really is. Just, you know, it's like I can see where Michael Bay got all his inspiration for all the slow-mo stuff. And yeah, it's just a bit too much. Megan Abel, you're up.
SPEAKER_11One of my likes is definitely that God is a woman. Not only that, but it was Alanis Morset. And so, as we touched on earlier, I love that. And uh, it's my own belief that uh the Bible was not written, like is true to fact, but I'm sitting here with a bunch of Catholic sinners.
SPEAKER_05I was baptized Catholic. I don't consider myself a practicing Catholic. So yeah.
SPEAKER_11But I'm more like, God is Mother Earth, God is Earth, Earth is God.
SPEAKER_05You're not gonna start quoting the craft. Well, God created the earth. Not gonna start talking about Mennow or something on that, are you?
SPEAKER_11No, but I do have witch-like tendencies. Um I'm gonna be honest. I very much have witched like tendencies.
SPEAKER_05Take it easy. They're Stevie Dex. All right, Stevie next, just relax. You know, everybody does though. This is good though, because I'm gonna tell you something right now. We're we're coming up, we're coming up with some good ideas for some movies that you apparently like and that I would apparently love to trash. The craft, the rock, uh Conair. Just a few examples.
SPEAKER_08We'd love to watch all of those again. Let's go.
SPEAKER_05All right. Uh my next one is Alan Rickman, particularly his first scene. Love Alan Rickman, miss Alan Rickman, once again, R.A.P. to one of the greats.
SPEAKER_12I will have to say his entrance. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Do you have to use the whole Ken?
SPEAKER_12I loved his entrance. And it was creepy though, when he went went Ken doll, full Kendall, and I'm like, oh.
SPEAKER_05He's totally addicted.
SPEAKER_12I can't even look at a Ken doll the same way because that scene disturbed me.
SPEAKER_05It's weird though, because he's got there's like a little bit of root and there's like a bulge there, but it's just all but that's what a kendal's kind of like. He has a little bulge, it's like it's all plastered over.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Oh man. Yeah, that scene is funny. Everyone just wants to get into your Nickas. No wonder you're single.
SPEAKER_12He's so good at playing an angry person. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Snape, you know. He has been angry in a lot of his roles that he has.
SPEAKER_11Has been.
SPEAKER_05All right.
SPEAKER_11I got through all my life.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, through Megan Abel. Let's rock and roll, Ayatola. What do you got next?
SPEAKER_11Oh, let me go down to my list. Um, oh, I loved the disclaimer at the beginning of the film. Oh, about all the platypi. Well, first we're gonna talk about like this is not our like this is just a movie. This is don't take it seriously, even though it's about God, like, chill out, Catholics. And then it was like, you know, even God has a sense of humor. Take the platypus, for instance, and then we're gonna do like a little apology to all the platypi enthusiasts there are in the world. And I'm just like, man, the platypus is funny. You know how they like can be teal in ultraviolet light.
SPEAKER_05Really? Yeah. I did not know that.
SPEAKER_11That's that's why like this there's this cartoon of this platypus. Have you ever seen it? You had kids, I don't know if they they had the platypus on when they were a little bit younger. Maybe. But um, yeah, he was a teal platypus. Wow. And it made so much sense when I learned that fact. I was like, oh, look at you, Disney.
SPEAKER_05All right. I think my last one is, and there's quite a bit more than I liked, but I wanted to keep it short and sweet. The diner scene. I freaking love this scene. Still makes me laugh to this day. This movie came out in '99. I've seen it so many times, but I love that scene. Especially when Jay thinks that Bethany is gonna sleep with him. So what's up? You got a friend for silent power, you're just gonna do us both. If if so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
SPEAKER_11Now I like that the end of him was like, if we're not gonna fuck, then what the fuck are you asking us that for?
SPEAKER_05Starts to get up. I'll scream rape. Oh man. He starts asking, it's like, Do you do anal? Is it true chicks fart if you blast them up the ass?
SPEAKER_00You don't need class when you take it in the ass.
SPEAKER_05I couldn't resist. I had to put that sound bite in there. That scene cracks me up. It is funny. So all right.
SPEAKER_11I also liked how they touched on um, you know, Jesus having to take on the heavy responsibility of being God's only son when he was a young boy.
SPEAKER_12And I really appreciated that little aspect of like, you know, like um just being help like hyper-aware of other people's feelings.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that.
SPEAKER_12Yeah. I agree. That was a good one.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I liked how they kind of give you that perspective of like, oh, remember, like, Jesus was just a boy whenever he got this like heavy duty task he had to take on. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12I am Can you imagine if you ask if you told Regan's he was the son of God, he'd be like asking so many questions.
SPEAKER_11I just heard in my head right now that my husband said he is the son of God. My husband would a thousand percent say that.
SPEAKER_05The little boy's four years old, he'd probably just be like, cool, man.
SPEAKER_12But she she had told me yesterday that he's asking a lot of questions and like very curious, right?
SPEAKER_11Oh, he's always so curious, but you know, he's been talking a lot about like death stuff, you know, like where's your grandma? And you know, like my my mom had to sit there and talk about her dead mom for for like 10 minutes. Like, sorry, mom.
SPEAKER_05You don't want to leave the poor kid hanging.
SPEAKER_11I know, but you know, and so it was very entertaining to listen to from like uh an outside perspective of like hmm, yeah. All right.
SPEAKER_05Now, this may be kind of a dumb question to ask. Dislikes. Do we even have any?
SPEAKER_12I mean, I've kind of talked about mine already, but um I did I disliked the shit demon. It just grossed me out.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, I mean yeah, that is really nasty.
SPEAKER_11Gonathon, gonna fall on uh yeah. And he was killed by an odor spray. Or no.
SPEAKER_05Knock strong odors out. Why do you have that?
SPEAKER_12This is my uh my little mixture here, that would have been a good odor destroyer. Yeah, I mean it helped with Kofax.
SPEAKER_11I didn't smell a thing. We s I sprayed him out. He's not even in the room anymore. That's what we need to do. It hit me until she sprayed that and then I'm so glad it didn't make it over here in my little nook.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_11That's because I sprayed my my spray juice.
SPEAKER_05He's bad.
SPEAKER_12Spray juice.
SPEAKER_05All right. Bullshitting on the back.
SPEAKER_11Well, hold on. I have one dislike. Oh, you do? Are you skipping over her? But I also like know why now.
SPEAKER_05I had to make up for all the times I've been cut off in this episode, which is a lot.
SPEAKER_11It's been fun.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Not fun. It's called a conversation mick.
SPEAKER_05Which I tend to dominate. It's just kind of hard to do.
SPEAKER_11Conversations are like hopscotch. Feel free to jump in.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, let's get the sky blue on this motherfucker. I got shit to do.
SPEAKER_11Anyway, my dislike was, which now I know why, because he had to memorize because he was on heroin the whole time. But I did hate how Jay tended to be a little bit mechanical in his dialogue. Ooh, that's a good one. Yeah. I did not realize that until you just said something. But you know, then when you're deep diving, you're like, oh, he was on heroin.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's the thing is though, is that you've seen the other Kevin Smith movies.
SPEAKER_11Yes. I mean, he's always kind of the same. He's pretty much the same. He's just always been an irritant in the Kevin Smith.
SPEAKER_08And I'm like, why do you let him talk so much?
SPEAKER_04I don't know.
SPEAKER_08You know, he's just a robot when he says like fuck, and then fuck, fuck, fuck, and big titties. That's a great impression.
SPEAKER_05Great impression. I'm not hearing the downside here.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Great dialogue, in my opinion.
SPEAKER_12I feel like Jay to Silent Bob is like Silent Bob's best friend, and he's like one of those best friends that's just kind of a fucking help.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, taking him on the ride. Better old life mates. He even plays that in the movies, I think one of his movies. What? You know, the the friend that he's got to kind of take care of. Maybe I just made that up.
SPEAKER_05No, no, I think they just kind of take care of each other. Yeah. Because you notice on the train, I think uh is it Bartleby punches Jay and Jay lands on a table right in front of Silent Bob, and Silent Bob's like, oh hell no. You ain't gonna punch my boy. Oh, I I should point also point out in that scene the Indiana Jones reference where he tosses both the angels off the train and the one guy sitting there, like, oh like what the hell did I just see? And Silent Bob, one of the few times he does talk in the movie, just goes, No ticket. Yep.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, thanks was the other time he spoke.
SPEAKER_05Yep, that was it. The longest monologue he's ever had is in a movie called Chasing Amy. They're in one scene, and he does pretty much all the most of the talking. I almost said all of it, but yeah. He's got a monologue there, and that's it. But in any other movie, he's got maybe a couple lines.
SPEAKER_09I was just trying to remember Jay and Silent Bob. Is it which one is it that has a monkey?
SPEAKER_05They both do.
SPEAKER_09Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05And it's an orangutan. Orangutans are part of the great ape family, it's not a monkey.
SPEAKER_12Okay. Thank you.
SPEAKER_05I just can't remember the name.
SPEAKER_12You know, he corrected me on this, like, I think within the last week, because we were doing something. I was like, oh, that that monkey, and he's like, that's an orangutan.
SPEAKER_05Actually, it's part of the ape family. Yeah. It's not a monkey.
SPEAKER_12Yep.
SPEAKER_05You want to and ironically, do you want to know where I found that out?
SPEAKER_12Where?
SPEAKER_05In the movie Jane Silent Bob Strike Back in a character played by Judd Nelson.
SPEAKER_12Hmm. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Harsh.
SPEAKER_12Harsh.
SPEAKER_05So, all right. Are you all done? Yeah, that was my only dislike. I don't really have any dislikes. So, bullshit on the backlot. Let's go.
SPEAKER_08Let's get started on let's bullshit bullshit.
SPEAKER_12So like bullshitting all aside. Let's bring it home. I have a question. Maybe eventually. I have a question though. Did people really not have AC in bathrooms at one point?
SPEAKER_05I yeah, oh okay. I alright. I'm gonna allow it.
SPEAKER_12They're like a park, a park bathroom.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna allow this one. I thought that was kind of weird too. Everywhere except the bathroom. Why wouldn't you have AC in the in the John?
SPEAKER_11That would be like the one place. Maybe they just have like a fan that goes out and goes in, maybe. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, but all bathrooms have that. I just well, I would hope they do. You're just talking about an exhaust fan.
SPEAKER_11I just think like your whole house looks nice, but you have a park bathroom. That's like when she said it, it was like, oh, you have a park bathroom.
SPEAKER_05Maybe that's why they had her taken out.
SPEAKER_11Which means it's just moist in there. Yeah. So yeah.
SPEAKER_05Alright. Yeah, yeah. So we we're all on the same page. That was kind of weird.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, that was just a question.
SPEAKER_05Bullshitting on the back lot. Jason Mews had the entire script memorized before rehearsals. His main inspiration for this was because he didn't, he quote unquote didn't want to piss off that Rickman dude. He was also pulled aside. Megan Abel, you pointed this out earlier. He was also pulled aside by Kevin Smith and was told to be on his best behavior and to bring his A game. Little side note to this Alan Rickman pulled Kevin Smith aside and said that Jay uh Jay Muse was gonna be an American treasure.
SPEAKER_12Aww, Alan Rickman. I love him.
SPEAKER_05Terrific actor, way out of Jay Muse's league, and he gives him that awesome compliment. I would love for somebody to give me that compliment.
SPEAKER_12You you are an American treasure. It doesn't count if it's from your wife, though, does it?
SPEAKER_05I'm good with it. I'll take it. All right. Uh next one. Alan Rickman enjoyed the maracas he used for his first scene that he held on to them the entire time and drove the casting crew nuts by playing them all the time. Um that's cute. It's kind of adorable. You just see Alan Rickman running around in the background all the time with the mark.
SPEAKER_11There's a scene, and then they just come up.
SPEAKER_05Yep. Yes. Cut Alan, enough. All right. Uh, once again, another Alan Rickman. Alan Rickman was asked to play the Metatron after Kevin Smith found out that he was a fan of the film Chasing Amy. Funny little anecdote about Chasing Amy. I had a friend that used to work at Hogan's video, when Hogan's video in town here still existed. Used to make well, only when other people were around, ironically, used to make fun of my rental choices all the time. And chasing Amy was no different. He just thought he just had this great knowledge and opinion and taste in films. So anything I ever rented in there, he always only when other people were around. Because he was one of those friends. If he has an audience, he turns into a different person. He's like, You're renting chasing him? I was like, Yeah, asshole, I'm renting chasing Amy. I'm gonna go home and watch it. Is that alright with you? You ginger-haired fucker.
SPEAKER_11We grew up my my in Florida. My mom had lived on this road and um old Plaza Gate Lane, and then it was old King's Road, and there was Knights Video, and they had a giant, you know, life-size knight, you know, uniform. What is it? Armor. That's the word I was looking for. Um, sitting outside, and we would go in and rent our movies. I remember that place. And I worked at Hollywood video later on in life. I love that.
SPEAKER_05I applied at a Hollywood video, the one that used to be over in Moline over there. Didn't get hired. All right, next one.
SPEAKER_12Sad about that, doesn't he? A little bitter betty over there.
SPEAKER_05Like 26 years ago. I'm pretty sure I'm over it by now. Uh next one is uh actually it's gonna be the last one because the very last one I have here is the one about George Carlin and his late wife at the time, so we don't need to rehash that. But the last one is apparently Linda Fiorentino was found to be difficult to work with, according to Kevin Smith. At times, not even speaking to him. They reconciled in 2018 after Kevin Smith was recovering from a near fatal heart attack.
SPEAKER_12Oh man. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_05Apparently, I guess he said something about how he wished he would uh cash Janine Garofalo in the role. Yeah, I'm kinda glad he didn't either.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_05She's alright, but she kind of bad.
SPEAKER_12Sandra Bullock would have been good in it. Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_05But Janine Garofalo kind of weirds me out a little bit. Yeah. She always kind of gave me a little bit of the creeps.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You know.
SPEAKER_11Uh, I've got some uh on the back lock, on the back lock type.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you do, huh? Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_11Yes, prior to signing onto the movie, Alan Rickman only had two questions. Would the angel wings be real and would his dialogue be filmed as written? Yes. Kevin assured him of both, and he signed on.
SPEAKER_02Excellent.
SPEAKER_11He really liked the dialogue then, huh? Oh yeah. And he wanted some real angel wings.
SPEAKER_05He wanted real wings.
SPEAKER_11This Moroccan playing gay.
SPEAKER_12I feel like Alan Rickman was a little bit of a fangirl for um Silent Bob.
SPEAKER_05I mean, maybe.
SPEAKER_12He's just it just sounds like he was a fan of the Kevin Smith's movies, yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Except for, well, probably not so much Jersey Girl. Yeah. That one was uh yeah, ouch. So he only had one?
SPEAKER_11No. I'll skip one. Um Alanis Morset was offered the role of Bethany, but couldn't commit a large role due to her world tour at the time. Ooh, that's cool.
SPEAKER_12I did not know that one.
SPEAKER_11And then Adam Sandler, also John Travolta and someone else, I think, was offered the role of Asriel, but couldn't due to Big Daddy.
SPEAKER_05Oh that would have been Sandler, yeah.
SPEAKER_11Sandler, yeah. But you know, I just I'm so glad that the film happened the way it happened.
SPEAKER_05You want to know what other role John Travolta was, I don't know, either offered or considered for? Forrest Gump. Oh.
SPEAKER_11Yeah. Movies just wouldn't have been the same.
SPEAKER_05Forrest Gump, I love that film. So do I. That's a great movie.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that is a great film.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, people out there that bash it, I don't, I'm I'm not even gonna listen to that.
SPEAKER_10Who bashes it because what? Uh I don't know. Who yeah, who would bash it?
SPEAKER_05I like I said, I don't I I don't pay them no money.
SPEAKER_10Stupid people.
SPEAKER_05Stupid is a stupid dozen.
SPEAKER_12Well, stupidity is a stupid dozen.
SPEAKER_05Um I don't have any questions. Or may all right, maybe one.
SPEAKER_12One that I didn't call mine on the back lot. I have some fun facts.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah, you've done enough talking.
SPEAKER_12I'm throwing mine out there because you know, they're pretty good, okay?
SPEAKER_05No problem. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_12So muted, fucker. Remember, I can control your CPAP when you're sleeping. Ooh, guys.
SPEAKER_08Probably edit that out in case anything happens to me.
SPEAKER_05For that reason, that reason alone, it's staying in there. It is staying in there.
SPEAKER_11Who are you people?
SPEAKER_12I don't know. Where am I? I would never ever kill my husband because I need his income to survive.
SPEAKER_11You have that life insurance plan?
SPEAKER_12Well, very small one. For now. For now. Um anyway.
SPEAKER_05Little does she know the only one that the only people that cash in are the kids, if I go. So No. Did I say the quiet part out loud? Oh my god. It's a joke.
SPEAKER_12I will murder you.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, we could better.
SPEAKER_05She just did it again.
SPEAKER_12Double check that. Can't stay out of trouble, kid. I'll just, I will just plead insanity, okay? Mental health breakdown. Metopause. Menopause. I was like, anyways. Did you know that Ben Affleck and Matt Demon took smaller roles because they loved their the story? Or not smaller roles, smaller salaries because they love the roles so much. Oh no. But that is so Matt and Ben. It is so Matt and Ben. So Matt and Ben. Well, so generate.
SPEAKER_05Keep in mind it's 99 and their careers were just a little bit on fire at the time.
SPEAKER_12So yeah, because that was right after Goodwill hunting. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So bigger paydays were on the horizon.
SPEAKER_12Yeah. But that's just so amazing. Speaking of their newest one. And they were like all about the Did you finish it?
SPEAKER_05Oh, it was good. The rip? Is that what it's called? Oh, I haven't watched it. It's really good. All right, I'll have to check it out. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11I have a lot of things on my list because I try and wait for my husband, but then I just get disappointed because he's like, Oh yeah, I watch that.
SPEAKER_12So a couple of other fun things. Um, the uh despite controversy, Kevin Smith is actually a faith, faithful man, which I found really interesting. But um the movie sparked a lot of protests, and he would actually go to those protests and like you know, get along with the crowd and people did he go incognito or no? Yeah, he went incognito. Yeah. Uh-huh. That's good. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, under the alias of Brian Johnson.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, and he said a TV reporter asked if he'd seen the movie, and he replied, No, but I've heard it's terrible. Which I think is such oh, it was so Kevin.
SPEAKER_05The the Blu-ray that I bought, it said um, there's that little excerpt that he has at the beginning. It's like back when, and it says back when Kevin Smith made good movies. So I I like how he just makes those little digs at himself, yeah.
SPEAKER_12That's cool.
SPEAKER_05And like take yourself too seriously. I never do.
SPEAKER_12Well, and another thing that I really like about this movie, which is I don't know if it's so much a fun fact, but due to his faith and being Catholic himself, um I just think it's cool that they he brought in some of the actual true stories in the Bible and some from like other religions too. You know, he brought everything together into one story. Um but like, you know, for example, the Metatron isn't mentioned in the Bible, but it is mentioned in Jewish mythological writings. Um and then, you know, like Catholicism teaches that angels have free will, which is why we have Lucifer, because he could rebel against God. Um and then the topic of like, you know, indulgence, it's you know, we talk about overindulging being a sin in Catholicism. And the movie exaggerates this, but suggesting that the church would, you know, forgive sins and let anyone into heaven, and it's just like kind of overdone to a point. How many times have I hit this thing? Can we start a counter?
SPEAKER_05A lot.
SPEAKER_12Okay.
SPEAKER_05No, we're not gonna start a counter. We're at the end of the episode.
SPEAKER_12Okay.
SPEAKER_05We're about to wrap this motherhoop.
SPEAKER_12That that was everything that I had. Okay. But I do have a question for you guys.
SPEAKER_05What's up?
SPEAKER_12Because you weren't raised Catholic, but you were. I did go to a Catholic church with my stepmom. Do you have a favorite Bible story or a favorite mythological story?
SPEAKER_05I don't think I I don't I don't think I do.
SPEAKER_12Do you?
SPEAKER_11No, um my mom, you know, I don't really I don't really remember a lot of the stories. Um but I do love uh isn't Revelations when they talk about God's voice and they say it's like many waters, and my mom would always say, like, I think personally it's probably sounding like the waves of the ocean, like so massive. And so I always think that whenever So God speaks to you through the ocean. Uh yeah, sure. All nature, because I well yeah, but no, that's just how I take what you're saying. Well, yeah, but I just think that that's what a voice sounds like, probably. Very simple. And the massiveness. Well, just like, you know, we can't necessarily hear it, but like I would think in a distance.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I say it all the time, and I feel bad for uh not having accomplished this, but I I do want to sit down and read the Bible from beginning to end. I never just like they say in the movie. I'll I'll admit it, I'd I've I've never had.
SPEAKER_11I never have either. Um uh trying to really remember, I do love Daniel and the Dion a Lion's Den.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think that's a good one.
SPEAKER_11I do remember that story. I did love that one. Yeah. I used to watch this cartoon um like of Bible stories on TV.
SPEAKER_12I really liked this one's not my favorite, but Jonah and the whale. I had because I had an obsession as a kid of children being eaten or people being eaten. Because I had no, I have this book. I got it boring at all. No, no, no, no. I got this book at the book fair, and I have no idea what it's called. I swear to God it exists. But it was a book about an old lady who would cook up children, and there was like eight children in this family that all got cooked up. No, it's not Hansel and Gretel. It's Jesus. It's like fanfic of Hansel and Gretel. Oh I'm gonna have to look this up to know it exists. You would probably know it's pretty popular.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, the Samson and Delilah story is kind of cool.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, Samson and Delilah.
SPEAKER_05Guy having incredible strength because of his hair, right?
SPEAKER_12Yep, yeah. Yeah. I like my favorite story. Stories are usually the ones about women in the Bible, but Sarah, I don't know, do you know the Sarah and Abraham story? So Sarah was barren, and her and her husband tried to have children but couldn't do it. And God came to her one day and said that she will have a son one day, but she needs to be patient because it will happen. And that, you know, God is gonna keep his word to that. And when she was 90 years old, she gave birth to a baby boy named Isaac, and they call Sarah the mother of nations because Isaac then went and sowed his seed, but like the lesson that is taught from that is God keeps his word. He fucked. Isaac went out and fucked.
SPEAKER_02I did at a boy.
SPEAKER_12But yeah, but no, I just like the story because it's like it teaches you to be patient that you know God will keep his word, you should keep your word, you know. That I don't know. That's just that's a cool story. It's a cool, you know.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it does sound alright. That's all I got.
SPEAKER_12No more notes from me.
SPEAKER_05Alright. If this movie were to be remade or rebooted, no. Who would yeah, well, I agree, but please no who would you cast as god? Who would you cast as a god in the end? If you can't get Alanis Morrison.
SPEAKER_12RuPaul. I'm just kidding. No, it wouldn't be RuPaul.
SPEAKER_05It'd be kind of funny, but it'd be kind of cool. Sure would sure would be a curveball. Would it be a lot of people would see it coming?
SPEAKER_11She was uh the wife in the movie Inception. She's like French.
SPEAKER_12Oh, yeah, I know who you're talking about. She's in a lot of curveballs. Who would you pick? I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Probably Chuck Norris. Why not, right?
SPEAKER_12I think if it was to be remade, I feel like there'd be some big, big names in it. So I'd probably say like Leo or Jonah Hill.
SPEAKER_11I want Zendaya to go and do the Crusade. He needs to be the last scion. Yeah, that would be awesome.
SPEAKER_12All right. Kevin Smith, are you out there? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, please don't. We don't want to remake it.
SPEAKER_11It's perfect to me.
SPEAKER_05It is. He's a total listener. All right. Manhattan scale. This is on a scale of one to five, is how we determine how many drinks this movie gets. Either a Manhattan, my signature drink, or my guest drink of choice. Megan Abel, you're up first.
SPEAKER_11Ten. A fucking ten.
SPEAKER_05No, it's on a one to five. You can't go ten.
SPEAKER_11Oh, ten. She's this is a take two hands. Two five.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna need you to conform a little bit here, okay? We're not trying to get that shit.
SPEAKER_11Never okay, fine. I tell my son all the time.
SPEAKER_05Ten what? What are you drinking?
SPEAKER_11Uh margaritas.
SPEAKER_05There you go. Fine.
SPEAKER_11I am a show wasted pants. Are you disappointed that I didn't make you a margarita? I mean, I was kind of looking forward to it. I didn't want to like, when you asked me for something to drink, I was gonna be like, but I was also late, so my daughter swung by and grabbed the grabbed the tequila.
SPEAKER_12So she wanted to make these Dr. Pepper margaritas for her birthday, and she called me up today and was like, Do you have any tequila? Because everything here at Walmart's way too expensive. And I was like, Yeah, I think I have some tequila. You can just go get it. I don't, it's fine. And then I forgot that I promised you margaritas, and I was like, not gonna bring it up because I was like, I don't want her to be mad. I know. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_11I don't have enough air in my lungs to finish this eye.
SPEAKER_05All right, Megan, how many neutrals is this movie getting?
SPEAKER_12Uh blueberry neutrals, I'm giving it a five. A five? It's up there with Jurassic Park. Yeah, I really liked this movie. Okay. All right.
SPEAKER_05Uh this one gets 3.75 Manhattans from me.
SPEAKER_12That's a good rating for you.
SPEAKER_05It is. It is a good rating.
SPEAKER_11I'd have thought you would have done like a four, four point two, something like that.
SPEAKER_05That was goodfellas are putting my good. I always point to my goodfellas poster. It's the only one that would ever get a five. So far.
SPEAKER_11Well, I did say four point two, and then you just went spastic about your good fellas. Have you ever seen that? Yes, but I know and I know your love, but I was just that I would have thought you would have like done a four point two on this.
SPEAKER_05Uh it's I I do really, really, really enjoy this movie. I do. I think uh it was at first a three, but I upgraded it to a three point seven five.
SPEAKER_11So I just love his whole writing of it. How the dialogue between everybody, this the script, everything. Yep, the choices.
SPEAKER_05I don't know if this movie holds up, but I still enjoy it.
SPEAKER_11Yeah, I think it does. You think so? I think it does.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, I think it does too.
SPEAKER_11Okay. I I think it explained a lot of aspects in religion that really, really well and made you think a little outside the box. Um, you know, uh, what was it? When when uh he was saying that God had a good idea and everybody decided to make it their belief, and they built this whole structure around this belief, and she said, Is belief like is a belief bad? And he said, No, um, but you can change an idea, you can't change a belief, and people kill over beliefs and they start war over beliefs. They do. So yeah, so at the end, you know, when she said he says, Oh, you believe, and she says, No, I think it's a good idea.
SPEAKER_05I think it's yeah, yeah. I think it's a good idea, or I've got a good idea. I can't remember what she said verbatim, but but it's a good idea. Yeah, yeah. I I really do enjoy this movie a lot. And I'm so glad we did this episode.
SPEAKER_12Now, before we wrap this up, and you two have anything else you want to add, get it out now because Snoop to the motherfucking noob to the motherfucking in the world of things that did not need to happen.
SPEAKER_02There's this right there.
SPEAKER_05Anyway, you edible really kicked in there. Anyway, you glorious Mickhead.
SPEAKER_12Don't blame it on the weed. Sorry. Oh, he is gonna kill us. He's gonna just at the end of this when the can't when you melt it up.
SPEAKER_05Well, you glorious Mickheads, it is unfortunately that time. It is the that's a wrap portion of this podcast where we say goodbye for now and close down production for the time being. Your mics are hot again, just so you know. As always, I want to thank you all so much for listening. You can listen to the Cinematic Mick Podcast on Spotify, iHeartRadio, and Apple Podcasts. Also, feel free to email us and any fan mail or episode suggestions at the cinematicmicgmail.com. Excuse me, at the cinematicmick at gmail.com or by clicking the send us fan mail link in the show notes. Last but certainly not least, I have to thank my amazing co-host Megan for everything she does to make this show better. She does a hell of a lot more than she even realizes.
SPEAKER_11Thanks, guys.
SPEAKER_05I also want to thank my lovely wife Megan for being high as book on this episode and talking a shit ton, which she totally did. Now you just see more loops, which is a good thing.
SPEAKER_11I am loose as a goose right now. We were touching on Catholicism, which is a big conversation, I think. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So uh anyway. So, with all that being said, unless the Megans have anything they want to add here at the very end.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, snooch to the motherfucking Hey, you got it right. Nooch Oh, see, I thought they said noob.
SPEAKER_05Nooch. Guess there's only one thing left to say. Two things left to say.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Good night, everybody.